[00:00] Intro: Hello friends, I’m Sav, your host of Organized Sav: Savvy Solutions to Get Organized. I’m a Professional Organizer based in Santa Cruz, CA serving the California Bay Area. Thank you for joining me and let’s get started.
[00:11] Intro Music
[00:21] Today we are joined by the one and only Brittany, my cousin visiting from LA, and her fiance, Raj, aka @asaprajy
[inaudible][00:32] Raj: How you doin’?
Sav: Thank you for joining me!
Brittany: Oh no problem!
Raj: I’m just excited to be here. I’m here so I don’t get [inaudible][00:39].
[laugh][00:40]
S: So, let’s get into the details. Tell me more about yourselves.
How long have you been together and how long have you lived together?
Raj: We are approaching 7 years. Our anniversary and our wifi password 12415 [laugh][00:52-00:56] It’s a great way to remember our anniversary ‘cause we never forget it. Brit actually forgot it like a few weeks ago, not like in a bad way, just like a brain fart moment. Then she was like “Oh yeah, wifi password!”
[crosstalk 01:06] Brittany: 12415! We used to call each other gummy bears. So now if you wanna know our real wifi password, it’s gummybears12415.
Raj: Yeah, so if you want [inaudible][01:14] on the internet. Just look for it.
Sav: Ooh! That’s Hollywood, dropping the deets. Alright, so today’s show has two parts. Today’s theme is all around: Household Chores, that controversial topic that we’ve all been waiting for.
Brittany: We cannot wait.
Sav: Part 1 is titled: Asking for Help and Part 2 is Assigned Chores. Any thoughts you wanna share before we get started or just get into it?
Raj: Uh, we can get into it. Just full, full like uh transparency. I’m a big time chore guy. Like uh 100% of chores population meet.
[laugh][01:48]
Brittany: And I’m a big time, “Ask for help person”, so Raj is a lork.
Raj: That’s what good leaders do. They delegate.
[laugh][01:58]
Sav: Very true.
___________________________
[01:59 ]Part 1: Asking for Help
Sav: So if you’re not familiar. These are pulled, these are true stories pulled from a Reddit called “Am I the A*hole?” So at the end, you guys are gonna give your take. I’m gonna give my take. We’re gonna talk through it, but you need to rate are they the a*hole or not?
Raj: Now, it gets spicy.
Brittany: You’re gonna listen
[02:17] Sav: Title: Am I the A*hole for asking my partner to do more around the house? Here’s the story. Not the A-hole
Back story about us. My partner, 28m, is a mobile welder. I know his job is physically demanding and he often comes home pretty tired. I, (28f), am in insurance, and I work from home. He starts his day at 7am, so I don’t expect him to get much done since he gets up at 5 and has to commute to work. My daily morning routine consists of taking out the dogs.
[02:48] Sav: Do you guys have dogs? Cats? Nothing?
[crosstalk 02:49] Brittany: No we do not. Unfortunately no.
[02:51] Sav Continue: …picking up any and all their toys, sweep or vacuum their damn hair and then tackle any dishes or garbage from the night before. Throughout the day on my breaks, I’ll sweep again, clean counters, put away clutter, do laundry or finish whatever I didn’t finish from the morning. At the end of the day, because my partner works in a physically exhausting job, he asks when I finish work to make dinner. Even though most days he gets home a half hour before my work day is done. I’ve asked him to be responsible for taking the dogs out and feeding them when he gets home so I can focus on dinner but lately getting him to do that has been a chore! I feel like I’m nagging and I hate it. I know my job isn’t physically difficult. But I’m mentally exhausted after work and need some type of help. I asked him to help with dinner, one or two days, or taking on some other daily cleaning needs/chores, but he says I should do it since I’m home all the time and my job isn’t hard. Am I the asshole for asking for help?
Brittany: Absolutely not!
[laugh][01:48]
Raj: Oh my God, I thought you’re gonna say your job is in the kitchen and I got really horrified.
[crosstalk 04:12] Sav: Oh my God! Like your place is in the house? Right?
Raj: Yeah. That’s why I said “Oh my God”
Brittany: Well that’s honestly, I get his point of view. However, she’s working from home with not so stressful of a job but she’s also cleaning throughout the day. He needs to help her at some point. Even if he is coming home exhausted, negotiate…or uhm.
Raj: Compromise?
Brittany: Compromise sorry not negotiate.
Raj: Com-Promise?
[laugh][04:43]
Brittany: Yeah compromise, it could be one or twice, two times a week to help out absolutely!
Sav: Do you think that [inaudible][04:39] to me is that they're both doing full time jobs yet she is doing everything. And I get that his job is physically demanding but as she said versus mentally demanding. And both wear and tear on you.
Brittany: yeah.
Raj: Yeah, and I mean the fact that she is working, as from someone who works from home all the time 24/7, her job is demanding. My job is demanding! And I agree with her. And like she, I don’t know, it’s really interesting ‘cause you’re excited to see your partner when they come home, but obviously expects some tasks specifically to be done and like I relate with this lady because I’m always working late.
[crosstalk][05:15]
Brittany: I relate with this guy, I relate with the guy however I will try to clean once in a while.
[laugh][05:19]
Brittany: You know what Raj is so great because when I come home from work, he’s like “Well I start cooking us dinner” Like he just knows the drill.
Raj: Well I know it’s kinda' great when Brittany comes home it’s kind of my like physical alarm to see that “Oh okay, I can cook dinner!” And what, like 70% of the time I still work after dinner. Right?
Brittany: Yeah, and that’s okay.
Sav: So you Raj are working full time from home, is that right?
Raj: Full time from home. I usually only leave for shoots or if I’m working with talent or things like that which is great, I’m really grateful for the, just privileged for the position I have but with great power comes a lot of great responsibility and discipline.
Sav: And then Brittany, you are back in the classroom full time?
Brittany: Yes, I’m a high school Math teacher, so back in classroom, back in person, constantly talking to teenagers all day.
Sav: How many hours do you think you work in a week? and Raj same question after.
Brittany: Our workload are so different.
[crosstalk 06:19]
Sav: Really?
Brittany: I feel like now I’m into my 6th year of teaching, I got the hang of it. So like I get to work at 7:30 everyday and I can leave most days right when school gets out at 3:30 and very rarely do I take work home anymore. [crosstalk 06:35]
Raj: I thought you’re going to say you rarely get to grade test at home anymore.
Sav: So great, congratulations. Good job!
Brittany: I barely grade tests at home anymore.
Raj: I used to help her log in, test her laptop [inaudible 06:41]
[crosstalk 06:44] Sav: Oh my God! And putting scores? Ugh!
Raj: I started to learn some of the students’ things and then I started to [inaudible 06:49] answers which are absolutely hysterical.
Sav: Oh I love when you post those. Those are hysterical.
Raj: My work week honestly can, pre-pandemic it can be 40 hours a week sometimes 45.
Brittany: When he was going to the office.
Raj: When I was going to the office but then
[crosstalk 07:06] Brittany: He hadn’t often, but now.
Raj: It’s definitely elevated to 60 to 70 to 80
Brittany: Yeah, and he works on social media
[crosstalk 07:13] Sav: Oh my God!
Raj: Yeah and on weekends but like the crossover of what I do is I’m a producer, I do social media, I do talent relations, I also write, I also you know coordinate stuff, I also do analytics, I also edit, I also film, I also have to make sure my own [inaudible 07:28] and like on, and I love all these things, maybe not the analytics but I love all this things.
[crosstalk 07:28] Sav: That’s when Brittany comes in.
Raj: Exactly! And that needs to get done. I understand it needs to get done like everything does in a job but like I genuinely do love and enjoy what I do so I try not to complain. I’m just very exhausted all the time. Just no one is supposed to look at that many screens I think for that long amount of time. What’s great about the company I’m employed by is that they’re very pro-mental health. They let me take mental health days, flexible vacation, most of the time, like when we’re - what’s cool is when we were traveling in Europe, was it july of 2021?
[crosstalk 07:35] Brittany: uhhmm.
Raj: We were vaccinated, don’t you worry. Please don’t [inaudible/laugh 08:13] That whole two and a half week vacation, at first I was really anxious to take that much time off. It was my whole time and everyone who really supported it.
Brittany: They really encouraged him not to even check his email once.
Raj: But like how good was that?
Sav: Okay, let’s go back to the story. So first give us a one sentence synopsis. What’s the division of labor in your household and why?
Brittany: I would say Raj does the cooking, I do dishes sometimes. I come home usually to a clean apartment. I don’t do much of the cleaning but, but I don’t mind mopping the floors and the vacuuming. What else do I do. Anything?
Raj: She likes vacuuming. I would say the division is me when I plug my headphones in and I listen to the national anthem on loop, by national anthem I mean the song Body by Megan Thee Stallion my president, and I try to like time myself on how many times I can listen to that song on loop. This is super serious, Brittany knows how many times I listen to that song.
Brittany: I don’t even know what that song is.
Raj: That’s the Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody Body crazy, curvy, wavy, I don’t know if I can curse, lil' waist. The greatest song ever made. And I honestly time myself by listening to that song on loop for doing dishes to do it at like a rhythm and go at a faster pace.
[crosstalk 09:40] Sav: That’s amazing!
Raj: Then after dishes I’ll clean the counter. My every morning routine from Monday to Friday after Brit started leaving the house is, she likes this thing in the morning, that many Americans like to make and she makes it and grinds fresh beans, you know she leaves with coffee in the pot and the fresh beans are just you know the dust is splattered everywhere. That’s how I start, I start my morning, every single morning cleaning it, leaves it there for me. I do it all the time. I don’t complain. And she kinda' knows it’s done.
[crosstalk 10:03] Brittany: [inaudible 10:03] I do not do dishes after breakfast.
Sav: I think that you guys are our unicorns in this scenario and I absolutely love and appreciate that. That’s so amazing!
Raj: It’s essential too why I love Megan Thee Stallion and tell you honestly her rhythm makes me feel like I’m, I know right my president, makes me feel like I’m on a time loop schedule.
[crosstalk 10:34] Sav: Yes, yes.
Raj: Each time I listen to the song four times and then groove and like go fast fast fast.
Sav: So sometimes with Reddit I’ll share a top response. And so this was the top response to this story. Are you ready?
Brittany: Ok
Raj: I too ready
Sav: And so they gave their rating first. They say Not the A*hole.
[10:57] Top Response
Sav: Redflag! What if he lived alone? You’re not his housekeeper. The household duties should be split or he can hire someone to clean for him. I’m 100% with this.
Raj: And I’m also curious, I always notice with these things perspective is everything.
Sav: Yes.
Raj: ‘Cause maybe they love their partners, they’re under 30, but maybe she comes from such a disciplined background of knowing to clean and balancing down comes from the family [inaudible 11:22] that way. He is probably a very nice guy ‘cause she’s with him so obviously they’re great but, and he works very hard but maybe all he was taught was work ethic and to work hard and was raised maybe in a privileged like suburban 10 bedroom household where he’s a good dude but had a landscaper, housekeeper since he was born.
Sav: I think you are being really generous to this dude,
Raj: I know.
[crosstalk 11:34] Brittany: Like seriously
Sav: Like he can’t even make dinner one night. That’s a joke! Get takeout!
[crosstalk 11:47] Brittany: I always do that! [laugh 11:49]
Raj: I’m playing the balance. I’m not siding with him. If anything, I’m not being generous. I’m saying it might be the perspective that he’s being doing that not like the woman’s place is in the house.
[crosstalk 12:00] Sav: Yes, but I mean, that could be his perspective, we don’t know. I mean it sounds that way.
Brittany: There was a time when, this is when Raj, actually during that week of Christmas and New Year, this was not about dishes or cleaning. It’s about laundry.
[crosstalk 12:13] Sav: I love laundry!
Brittany: And he said there was some laundry in your hamper, do you want me to do it for you? ‘Cause he was just so bored. And I was like “Yeah! Sure!” And he did it, he folded it, he put my clothes away.
Sav: Wait, you guys do separate laundry?
Brittany: Yeah, we don’t do it altogether.
Raj: Yeah, we have two different [inaudible 12:26].
Sav: Ooh this is fascinating.
Raj: Yeah, but we do it like back to back.
Brittany: “Cause I don’t know his socks, granting this could be his socks and I don’t have any idea [inaudible 12:33] mix up.
Sav: Okay so what about things that are a shared thing like sheets, blankets, pillowcase,[inaudible 12:41] pillows in the living room.
Brittany: That’s usually [inaudible 12:41]
Raj: We’ll rotate on sheets. I feel like Brit, you wash them.
Brittany: I wash the sheets, ‘cause Raj never knows when.
Sav: Towels?
Raj: Towels, we rotate between [inaudible 12:52][crosstalk 12:52]
Sav: Rotate, okay. So look you guys have the easy [inaudible 12:54]
[crosstalk 12:54] Raj: And it’s pretty like we wanna do laundry, we know we need to do laundry. I think more and more that we’re living for 4 and a half years now. And I think it’s just imperative really to like to make sure that we set up some kind of system. Our biggest thing that we need to hold of each other is accountability after we do our laundry. When it’s clean, we drop it on both sides of our different rooms on the floor. And we would like have dumb little fights about the actual dumbest shit ever but when it comes to [inaudible 13:26] things. We tell each other “Hey can you yell at me when I [inaudible 13:29]” and like “Of course!”. And she was like “Hey Raj! Yell at me if I don’t and I was like yeah of course” and we don’t we just sit in bed.
[crosstalk 13:34] Brittany: We don’t. Never.
Raj: There was a time in my life, and by in my life I mean just maybe three weeks ago when I had all my laundry, clean laundry on the carpet and I was just picking different outfits out from the laundry on the carpet, and then throwing the dirty stuff in the hamper.
[crosstalk 13:49] Brittany: Clearly, we’re not the neatest people.
Sav: Okay final vote. A*hole not the a*hole?
Raj: She’s not the a*hole. She’s 100% not the a*hole.
[crosstalk 13:56] Brittany: She’s not the a*hole. 100%.
Sav: Okay we all agree. Yeah he is the a*hole. She is good to go.
Raj: Sorry. Good.
Sav: Sorry not sorry. Maybe dump his a**
[14:09] Sav: Alright, onto Part 2: Assigned Chores. Am I the a*hole for telling my wife I’m not going to praise her for doing what she's supposed to do?
Brittany and Raj: No!
Sav: You guys! You have to wait.
Raj: Okay, read the description.
OP Writes: AITA for telling my wife I'm not going to praise her for doing what she's supposed to do?
My wife has never really been a clean person. She's very much the "no reason to clean until it's dirty" type. She’s also super slow when she cleans, and doesn't do it all at once but over the course of several days. Because of this, the house always seems messy.
It was a freaking disaster these past few days and she finally decided to start picking up. When I came out she had some of the house cleaned up, but there were still some dishes in the sink, the trash wasn't taken out, there was still clutter on the counter. But she acted all proud of herself when I came out. I told her it’s still worse than what it should look like every day. I told her I'm not going to praise her for what she's supposed to do every day, especially when she didn't even do it right. She got pissed and said well if it's not good enough for me I can do it myself, and went to the room and now won't talk to me or finish cleaning. Am I the a*hole?
[crosstalk/laugh 15:32] Raj: Yeah not even the condescending, this sounds like one of those dudes that worships Joe Rogan as probably a crypto bro [crosstalk 15:38-15:40] [inaudible 15:38-15:40] I literally have zero time for this dude right now and I can’t believe that douchebags like this fucking exist but f*ck him, go [inaudible 15:53] And shut the fuck up.
Brittany: I know. If he wants to clean a certain way then he should clean it. Like you can’t expect her, Like I mean I take my time cleaning Raj never complains that’s that's
Raj: The vibe I got from this, I don’t know if you remember that HBO show Boardwalk Empire?
Sav: Yeah.
Raj: From like a couple of years back. When fucking Micheal Shannon is at a dinner and set at the ‘20s and keeps on ordering the meal for the lady on what she should eat. It literally that exact fucking vibe. And I, this is just like one of those things, of just being male toxicity to another fucking level where they’re just trying to normalize it. Fuck that. Fuck that trip.
Sav: So I see two problems here. One from my perspective the immediate thing I would do is have a team meeting because what clean means to him is not the same for her.
[crosstalk 16:42] Brittany: Absolutely!
Sav: And they’re gonna be fighting for this inciting a divorce if they don’t solve this problem.
[crosstalk 16:44] Brittany: Forever.
Sav: Okay one. Two: If neither of them wanna do it, hire out. If they’re gonna complain. I was hiring someone, it exists. Not a problem, it’s solvable.
[crosstalk 16:56] Brittany: We do it once a month. Raj and I just started doing that.
Sav: Yeah?
Raj: It was my mom’s idea. ‘Cause she, growing up she always made me clean, do laundry, iron, everything and so this is not a thing or service type that happens. But then she said “Oh my God you should totally do it” And we did it and it’s been good.
Sav: How long have you been doing that?
Brittany: Oh so recently.
Raj: Four-five months.
[crosstalk 17:17] Sav: Oh nice!
Brittany: It’s still [inaudible 17:17] ‘cause honestly we’re still cleaning ourselves or Raj.
Sav: We recently decided to do that too. It’s not on a monthly basis. I would say it was like maybe once every two months. But it’s so nice. I specifically say “Please just do the deep clean, everything else is covered”.
[crosstalk 17:33] Raj: That’s the bathroom, stove, the sink, kitchen, one
[crosstalk 17:38-17:39]
[17:36] Brittany: Kitchen
[17:39] Sav: I’ll add the baseboards too.
[17:41] Brittany and Raj: We don’t even need our bedroom.
[17:42] Brittany: We should maybe once in a while.[inaudible 17:43-17:45]
Raj: No, but we can do the bedroom. They don’t need to ever do laundry. We can do everything. But it’s the deep clean because our apartment is so fucking old too.
[crosstalk 17:52] Brittany: The counters all over stains easily.
Raj: We chose location, we chose location over quality, yeah.
Sav: Great location?
Raj: It’s incredible. We walk everywhere but the counters are definitely are from ‘96-’97
[crosstalk 18:03] Brittany: Well that’s the ‘80s. This building was built in the 80’s. [inaudible 18:07]
[crosstalk 18:06] No, no, no. It was built in the late 1980’s, but I asked and the last time they updated the cabinets was ‘97. T’was fucking annoying.
Brittany: Oh ok. It’s old. I can say that also about our bathroom. Our bathroom’s old. So that’s what you’re cleaning on.
[18:19] Top Response:
YTA. You can also clean. The entire house is not up to only her to take care of if she isn’t the only one occupying it. The least you can do is help her out if you expect it done in a certain time frame or a certain way, yunno, instead of making her feel bad for going her own pace. Even if the house were filthy, you are just as responsible for it as she is, so why is she the only one feeling bad for it?
I was originally sympathetic to OP but you have a good point. It is suspicious that he says she doesn’t clean so the house is a mess — that does indeed seem to imply he doesn’t clean and that it’s all on her... I feel like this one needs some more info imo
Edit: wow it’s actually way worse than I thought. OP is retired and does not work and she actually has a part time job, and takes care of their two kids. OP might actually be evil.
Sav: Okay. Top response.
Brittany “ Okay. We’re ready.
Sav: Yes. The a*hole.
[crosstalk 18:23] Brittany: Absolutely!
Sav: You can also clean.
[crosstalk 18:26] Brittany: Yes!
Sav: The entire house is not up to only her to take care of especially if she’s not the only one occupying it. The least you can do is help her out if you expect it to be done in a certain timeframe or a certain way, you know. Even if the house were filthy, you are just as responsible for it as she is. So why is she the only one feeling bad for it. Okay, I have even a bonus for you. There’s another response to that.
Brittany: Okay.
Sav: Okay. This is outrageous.
Brittany: I’m scared.
Sav: I know.
Brittany: Ooh.
Sav: Okay, I was originally sympathetic to OP but you have a good point, it is suspicious that he says she doesn’t clean so the house is a mess but does indeed seem to imply he doesn’t clean and that it’s all on her. Edit. Wow! It’s actually way worse than I thought. OP is retired!
Brittany: Nooo!
Sav: Yeah OP is retired.
[crosstalk 19:23] Raj: Thoughtless.
Sav: I know. OP is retired and does not work and he actually has a part time job and takes care of their two kids. OP might actually be evil.
Brittany: He’s the biggest a*hole
Raj: This dude was definitely, definitely a prime fox news watcher.
Sav: Yeah. I think that we were way too generous earlier. This is like, this is bananas for me.
Brittany: Oh so disappointing.
Raj: Like also, if he’s retired
[crosstalk 19:54] Brittany: How old are they?
Sav: It doesn’t say.
Brittany: I know I’m curious.
[crosstalk 19:58] Raj: 50, 55
Brittany: Yeah
Raj: This is the “they come from a different generation and a different time” kind of bullshit narrative. Like f*ck that! Like don’t be like that.
[crosstalk 20:05] Sav: It’s so outdated. It’s so ridiculous.
Raj: Yeah. Well you can type on a damn computer and you took the time to type this damn post so you can fucking clean instead of complaining about this kind of bullshit.
[crosstalk 20:14] Sav: Oh my God! Yes! You can do a Google search: “House cleaner near me”.
[20:18] Final Vote
Sav: Okay final vote, obviously we are all in agreement - the a*hole.
Brittany: The a*hole.
Sav: This actually, this kind of scenario comes up a lot with my clients and so whenever possible when I get to work with an entire family and they’re present, I hold and facilitate a team meeting. And so we go through what I mention before of like actually figuring what the definition of “clean” means for each different task, how often it needs to be, and the basis is what is the bare minimum, and if there is a disagreement that it’s uh who does it actually matter to, and if say Brittany if you don’t agree with Raj that the toilet needs to get cleaned on a weekly basis then you are gonna have to suck it up and either do it yourself to beat that there and that would be your job or hire it out. Which is like so easy to do. And if you don’t have the finances to, do it yourself.
Brittany + Raj: Yeah
Raj: And it’s easy to actually hire out on a budget now especially with apps.
[crosstalk/inaudible 21:16]
Sav + Brittany: Absolutely, so easy!
Raj: There’s no excuse anymore.
Sav: The other thing where I am so sick of with my clients is where they have a disagreement of whose job it is. Like let’s use trash as an example. So typically the gender normative I’ve seen it’s the guy’s job to take out the trash. Okay and it’s like first off, no it doesn’t have to be that way. But what I hear is one person would say oh well it’s their job to do it, and the other person say no it’s their job to do it. So guess what? It doesn’t happen. And it gets backed up and now no one wants to do it, So my rule, my motto is one person one job. They’re solely responsible for it. Cleaning out the sink at the end of every night before the lights go off - one person’s job, there’s no ambiguity and then it actually happens. What do you guys think?
Raj: I love that.
[laugh 22:09]
Raj: No, cause it’s just like, it jumps again transparency: this is your task, this is what you need to do, and you should know that.
Sav: Yeah.
Brittany: I like the division of labor but I get bored doing dishes every night, so I can’t do it sometimes. But I don't do dishes every night, I’m just saying in general, but what I’m gonna do.
[crosstalk 22:32] Sav: Okay so in that scenario, what I do is I have actual designated days. So in my house for example,
[crosstalk 22:36] Brittany: Yeah, Yeah that would be smart.
Sav: We share dinner.
[crosstalk 22:39] Brittany: Exactly.
Sav: My dinner nights: Monday.Wednesday, his dinner nights: Tuesday/Thursdays. It’s a set schedule, there’s no debating it. I can have my work schedule end right out when I need to be home in time for dinner. We like to eat a little bit earlier. But that’s it. But the caveat is if you are taking responsibility for a job, let’s say trash, that means that you have to do the whole job which includes the mental load. If you’re low on trash bags, you need to know that. It’s not the other person’s job to keep track of it.
[crosstalk 22:42] Brittany: I love that! And he can still prepare for that.
Raj: We’re pretty good with trash load too.
[crosstalk 23:10] Sav: Most people aren’t.
Raj: I know.
[crosstalk 23:10] Brittany: I know, you see what’s funny, we both do take out the trash but for some reason every time we go on like a vacation, I was like “Wow check out the trash!” That thing just happens. I don’t know why.
Sav: But it’s the mental load of remembering “Oh do I have olive oil at the house, oh no I’m not gonna be able to make dinner so I need to add that to my grocery list”. That expectation is so undervalued in today’s society and even though general norms are improving I feel like it still falls onto the primary household rep which it sounds like is you Raj in your case, in my house it’s me. It’s oftentimes the women that they need to have that all in their head and it’s not just realistic. So yeah, any final thoughts.
Raj: One time Brittany cleaned the stove and it was wonderful, I don’t know why. It was a nice surprise.
[crosstalk 23:59] Brittany: Yeah, I got bored. I can’t believe I did it.
Raj: And I was very, it reminded me, and I almost got concerned, it reminded me of one of my favorite aunts who got so mad at my cousin, this was like 20 years ago when she came home from India and suddenly decided to deep clean the entire house and stuff. It was like “oh don’t you like this?” “Oh what the hell is this?[inaudible 24:19] Who’s coming over?” And he stopped cleaning completely after that, so.
[24:26] Conclusion: So, how do we divvy up household chores? It’s a case by case situation. But in general, we can agree that the outdated gendered and stereotype roles are out. If neither team members wants to do the chore, hire out or lower your expectations on what “clean” and “organized” means.
Brittany: Absolutely!
Raj: I just have [inaudible 24:46] motto after March 15th of 2020, is just lower expectations in all level and you’ll be happier.
Sav: Isn’t that the Arianna Huffington, I might be referencing that wrong, “The best to get a job done is not do it and say no”?
Raj: Yeah, I thought that was from my lord and savior Arianna Grande, when you said that but yeah that sounds about right.
[crosstalk 25:05] Sav: Oh! Wrong Ariana.
Sav: Okay so lastly, I think the biggest thing to remember folks is household chores - you need to find equity. So it’s not about who’s doing what, it’s not about him or her, or stereotypes, it’s about finding what works for you that feels fair fort everyone. Meaning everyone’s needs are met. Wooh! See yah next week!
Brittany: See yah!!!
Raj: Byeee!!!
[25:26] Outro music